Most couples who reach out to me for discernment counseling are not looking for someone to tell them what to do. They are looking for a way to figure out what they actually think, feel, and want, without the weight of the decision collapsing on them before they are ready.

Maybe one of you is ready to leave and the other is not. Maybe you are both exhausted and uncertain, and neither of you can tell anymore what is the relationship and what is the burnout. Maybe you have tried couples therapy and something still feels unresolved. Maybe you have not tried anything yet and you are not sure where to start.

Discernment counseling was built for this moment. It is not couples therapy. It does not assume you are staying together. Its only goal is clarity. And wherever that clarity leads, I can support you through what comes next.

What discernment counseling actually is

Discernment counseling is a short-term, structured process for couples who are uncertain about their future, specifically when one or both partners are considering divorce but have not yet made a decision.

It was developed by Dr. William Doherty at the University of Minnesota and it works differently from couples therapy. In couples therapy, both partners are working toward improving the relationship. In discernment counseling, the question of whether to work on the relationship is still open. The goal is to close that question with confidence and with full awareness of what you are deciding.

Sessions typically run one to five meetings. I meet with each of you individually within the same session, and together as a couple. The individual time is where most of the real clarity happens. It is a chance to say things you might not say in front of your partner, and to hear yourself think without the pressure of the other person in the room.

Who this is for

Discernment counseling and divorce decision support are right for you if any of this fits.

One of you is leaning toward divorce and the other is not. You are in different places, the conversation keeps going in circles, and you cannot seem to move forward or let go. Traditional couples therapy has not felt like the right fit because you are not both starting from the same place.

You have tried couples therapy and it did not work or did not stick. You are not sure if you have not found the right approach or if the relationship itself is the problem. You want clarity before you try again, or before you stop trying altogether.

You are both uncertain and worn out. You still care about each other but you have lost confidence that this relationship can be what you need it to be. You want to make a decision you can live with, not one you made because you ran out of road.

You have not made any decisions yet and you are afraid of making the wrong one. Discernment counseling is not just a last resort. A lot of people come in earlier in the process, before anything has been decided by default, because they want to be thoughtful about one of the most significant choices of their lives.

What happens when discernment counseling ends

Discernment counseling ends with a decision. And whatever that decision is, you do not have to figure out the next step alone.

Most people who come in for discernment counseling do not know which of those paths they are going to take. That is exactly the point. The process helps you figure it out, and I am there for whatever comes after.

Conscious uncoupling: support through a healthy separation

Conscious uncoupling is a structured approach to ending a marriage or long-term relationship with dignity, mutual respect, and care for everyone involved. It was developed by Katherine Woodward Thomas and it looks very different from the adversarial process most people associate with divorce.

It is not about pretending the relationship did not hurt. It is not about being fine with everything. It is a decision to close this chapter of your lives in a way that leaves both of you with the best possible foundation for what comes next. Whether that means co-parenting well, rebuilding separately, or simply being able to move forward without bitterness.

I work with couples in the conscious uncoupling process to process the grief of the relationship, untangle emotionally and practically, and build a framework for how they will relate to each other going forward. This work is especially valuable for couples who share children, finances, a community, or a life that will still be connected even after the marriage ends.

What you walk away with

People who work with me through discernment counseling do not always stay together. That is not the measure of whether it worked.

What most people walk away with is this: clarity about what they want and why. No lingering question of whether they really tried. A better understanding of their own role in what happened. And a sense of peace about what comes next, even when what comes next is hard.

The decision is always yours. My job is to help you make it clearly and with your eyes open.

How I work

I specialize in couples navigating high-stakes relationship decisions. My background in forensic psychology means I am comfortable sitting with complexity, conflict, and ambivalence without pushing you toward a particular outcome.

I also work with high-conflict couples and mixed-agenda couples, so if your situation involves significant tension or very different perspectives, I know how to hold that space. Sessions are structured and calm, even when the material is not.

Online discernment counseling and divorce support in Texas, Louisiana, New Jersey, and Florida

All sessions are via telehealth. I am licensed in Texas, including Austin and Bee Cave, Louisiana, New Jersey, and Florida. Discernment counseling and conscious uncoupling both work well via telehealth because each partner has their own private space during individual portions of the session, which often makes it easier to speak honestly.

You do not have to be in Austin to work with me. Clients across all four states have access to this kind of specialized support.

Getting started

I offer a free 20-minute consultation. We will talk about where you are and which of these services makes the most sense for your situation right now. If it is not a fit, I will tell you honestly and point you somewhere better.

You do not have to know what you want yet. That is exactly why you are here.